How we lead others begins with how we lead ourselves.
The way we lead is shaped by what’s happening within us: what we value, what we believe, the patterns we’ve developed, what we’re feeling, and how present we are to all of it.
Leading ourselves means noticing what’s happening within us, understanding what’s driving our response, and choosing how we respond rather than simply reacting from old habits, fear, pressure, or expectations.
Because how a leader shows up shapes what happens around them: how decisions get made, how people communicate, how much trust exists, whether others step up, and ultimately, how a team performs.
Being capable doesn’t make a leader immune to getting stuck.
They second-guess decisions they’re qualified to make. Hold onto work they know they should hand off. Avoid conversations they know need to happen. Get more impatient or reactive than they want to be. Or face something they’ve turned over from every angle and still haven’t figured out how to move through.
Often, the issue isn’t a lack of skill or effort. There’s something underneath the behavior: a belief, fear, habit, or pattern shaping how they respond.
That’s when the work has to go deeper: identifying what’s driving the behavior and shifting what’s getting in the way of how they want to lead.
The leaders I work with are smart, capable, curious, and ambitious. And they’re already very good at what they do.
They’re often the people others count on. They take on big challenges, influence important decisions, develop other people, and shape what it feels like to work on their teams.
They want to keep growing, not because they’re failing, but because they know the way they lead matters. To the people around them. To the work they’re responsible for. And to what their teams are capable of accomplishing.
For leaders who want a dedicated partner to help them think through challenges, make clearer decisions, and change the patterns that are getting in the way of how they want to lead.
Leadership coaching, development, workshops, offsites, and strategic support designed around what your leaders and teams need to grow, work better together, and have greater impact.
One thing has become clear along the way: even incredibly capable leaders are still…human. They can navigate enormous complexity and still get tangled in a difficult conversation. Make high-stakes decisions and still second-guess their own judgment. Inspire incredible loyalty and still have no idea how much their own stress is affecting everyone around them.
I’ve seen that play out in very different environments, from working with CMOs and some of the world’s largest brands in advertising, to working with executives and their teams at Facebook and TikTok, where I built and led global learning and leadership programs.
And eventually, I saw it in myself.
I began to see how my own beliefs and ways of operating showed up in my leadership, sometimes in ways I hadn’t even realized. It changed what I paid attention to and, ultimately, how I understood leadership itself. So much of the way we lead starts with what’s happening within us.
That shift eventually led me to leave big tech, train as a coach, study somatic breathwork, and build Little Torch, bringing together years of working with leaders with a deeper understanding of the inner work behind how we lead.
Practical insights for leaders who want to show up calm, clear, and grounded in their leadership.
